Systems theory blog

    This last week we talked about the different theories of families and why they are important. The four theories are: conflict theory, exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, and the systems theory. I am going to cover each of these theories, but first I would like to address why they are important. Family theories can be very useful in observing other families and in observing our own families. If you feel you may be having problems in your family relationships, you can use the theories to resolve the problem.

    Conflict theory: Lauer & Lauer defines the conflict theory as: asserts that all societies are characterized by inequality, conflict, and change as groups within the society struggle over scarce resources. Usually with conflict theory the problem within the family is that not everyone can be satisfied. They have different opinions on lots of situations and have a hard time resolving them. There will always be conflict within the family, the trick is learning how to resolve it.

    Exchange theory: Lauer & Lauer use "you owe me one" as a good example of exchange theory. The members of the family are looking at what they are putting in and comparing it to what they are getting out. In my opinion thinking in a "you owe me" mindset in a family is the worst idea ever. As spouses and siblings we need to love on another and support one another. If we help them that does not mean they "owe us" it means we did our part as part of a family. 

    Symbolic interaction theory: This theory is a little bit confusing for me, but basically it's that the parents find that the whole of the relationships is greater than the sum. The husband may lose a strong connection to his wife, but interactions with his kid make it worth it because he is looking at the whole picture not only at his relationships with his spouse. Our reading in Lauer & Lauer tells us that the "definition of the system" is an important concept in the symbolic interaction theory. This is the idea that we define a situation as real, and if the situation is real then it can have real consequences.

    Systems theory: The systems theory is just the idea that we can use the theories above to map and understand families. It covers other things that go on in families as well, such as rules, positive and negative feedback. In class there were some interesting thoughts and ideas about rules. We talked about how some rules are unspoken but the kids in the family all know the rule and they all follow it. 

    I think that every one of these theories is important to understand in family relations. They all have a unique side of things and they all involve different situations and I don't think anyone of them is worse than the other or more important to understand than the other, but I do think it is interesting that all of the theories can be resolved by not being selfish and looking at your spouse's point of view. If you're having a conflict in the family look from your husband/wife's point of view and try to understand where they are coming from, same with the exchange theory. If you stop looking for what you are getting out of the relationship and try to be selfless then it will very likely resolve the situation. 

    I hope those that read this found this blog useful, I know it might have been a little more boring with some definitions and explanations, but these can really help difficult family situations.